You’d think after decades of speaking to rooms full of people, I’d be bulletproof.
But standing on that TED red dot — my knees shook. My heart was in my throat. My inner critic was loud:
“Who are you to say this?”
“Don’t mess it up.”
And my wise woman whispered back: “Do it scared.”
Fear isn’t weakness. It’s proof you care. It means what you’re about to do matters.
That day, fear became my teacher.
It taught me that courage doesn’t arrive neatly wrapped. It shows up as shaking hands, sweaty palms, and a pounding heart that still says go anyway.
It taught me that when you chase comfort, you shrink. But when you face fear, you grow into the version of yourself you’ve been waiting for.
Show Note:
And it reminded me that fear doesn’t disappear when you hit midlife — it just changes shape. It’s not about climbing mountains anymore; it’s about being seen, being heard, being real.
So next time fear shows up, don’t wait for it to leave.
Grab it by the hand and take it with you.
Because the magic isn’t on the other side of fear — it’s through it.
Here are a few lessons I learned that might help you when life hands you that next opportunity to stretch and grow:
- Growth feels messy, not magical. The wobble, the nerves, the “what-am-I-doing?” moments, I shook, I cried and I stood my ground, they are the real signs you’re expanding.
- Confidence comes after courage. We don’t wait to feel ready, we do the thing, and then the courage turns into confidence.
- Surrender beats control. When we trust ourself and the process, everything starts to flow instead of force.
- Being seen is part of healing. Letting ourself be visible, imperfect and real, opens the door for others to do the same.
- Integration is the real growth. The stretch is one thing, but how we embody what we’ve learned after? That’s where the magic lands.
And yes, I still had my secret weapon that day: a few drops of frankincense and bergamot in my palms. I inhaled, grounded, and remembered — I’ve got this.
So here’s my bare-arse-minimum reminder for you, wise woman:
You can be scared. You can shake. You can still rise.
Do it anyway.