What if the biggest obstacle to women’s collective power isn’t out there, it’s between us?

Hanna Milling is a PhD cultural studies scholar, mediator, trauma and breath therapist, and peace researcher behind From Women to Women, a global project dedicated to healing the wounds of sisterhood.

In this raw conversation, Jen and Hanna name the things women rarely say out loud, the subtle knives in the back, the false harmony that masks generations of fear, and the expectation that a sister dim her light when you’re struggling.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about waking up.

They explore why shadow work is the fastest path to self-love and reclaimed power, and what it truly means to redefine sisterhood, not as surface-level solidarity, but as radical honesty and the courage to honour your own truth while honouring your sister’s.

If you’ve been burned by women, withdrawn from sisterhood, or wondered why we so often undermine the very collective we need, this one’s for you.

Show Note:

• The Problem: Women’s “knives in the back” undermine collective power. This behavior is a subtle, normalized cultural pattern rooted in historical trauma (e.g., witch hunts, competition for resources) and patriarchal conditioning.
• The Solution: Redefine sisterhood with radical honesty, curiosity, and responsibility. This means honoring each other’s cyclical nature (power vs. shadow work) without guilt or expectation.
• The Path: Heal personal wounds by integrating the shadow—the path to reclaiming power and increasing self-love. This includes reconnecting with the body to resolve the unconscious rejection of the feminine.
• The Goal: A united sisterhood is essential for women to lead global peace efforts. This is not anti-men but a necessary step to balance the “distorted masculine” of the current system.

The Call: From Women to Women

• The project began as a response to a call for women to rise and lead, which immediately exposed a lack of trust in the collective.
• This revealed the “knives in the back”—subtle, hidden wounds between women—as the primary obstacle to collective power.
• Core Insight (Resmaa Menakem): “Trauma decontextualized over time looks like culture.” This explains why undermining behavior is often unconscious and normalized.

The Shadow Side of Sisterhood

The most damaging shadow behaviors are often subtle and unconscious:

• Expectation of Rescue: Demanding a sister dim her light to rescue one from a personal wound.
• Uniformity as Loyalty: Requiring a sister to abandon her own path to join another’s.
• These dynamics create a vicious cycle, where women tear each other down instead of inspiring each other to rise.
• Key Distinction: Guilt (a patriarchal tool that shrinks power) vs. Responsibility (an empowering act of ownership).

Redefining Sisterhood

• Old Narrative: A surface-level harmony that hides deep competition, rooted in historical scarcity (e.g., needing a man for survival).
• New Narrative: A foundation of radical honesty and curiosity.
• Honor personal truth while honoring a sister’s.
• Allow for cyclical nature: power vs. shadow work.
• Honor both light and shadow, recognizing the power bound within the shadow.
• Take responsibility for personal historical mistrust.

Healing Through Shadow Work & Somatics

• Shadow work is the path to reclaiming power and increasing self-love.
• Fear: That facing the shadow will lead to self-rejection.
• Reality: It is the direct path to self-love and power.
• Destructive only when unconscious; awareness makes it non-destructive.
• The body holds these wounds, especially an unconscious rejection of the feminine.
• This internal rejection fuels external judgment of other women.
• Healing requires reconnecting with the body’s sensuality and power (e.g., breasts, womb).

The Path Forward

For the “Burned” Woman:

• Acknowledge the pain of “false harmony.”
• Instead of withdrawing, define a new, healthy sisterhood.
• Bring that new quality into existing circles.

For the Midlife Woman:

• This is a threshold for profound change.
• Embrace the “cracking open” as a chance to shed old layers.
• Listen to the new answers emerging from the “liminal space.”
• The Ultimate Goal: A united sisterhood is essential for women to lead global peace efforts. This is not anti-men but a necessary step to balance the “distorted masculine” of the current system. 

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