Midwife to Dominatrix with Vicky Feeney | Ep. 87

At 16, Vicky Feeney told her dad she wanted to be a midwife. He asked if she thought she was clever enough. She shelved the dream for 10 years, then went back and flew through it.

Since then she’s been a midwife, a Dominatrix for 20 years, a club owner running a team of 54, and now the producer of The Padded Cell Podcast from her own home studio. She’s also survived estrangement from her minister father, the death of her mother, and a breakdown after 15 years of 100-hour weeks.

Now 51 and menopausal, she’s working 40 hours, sleeping properly, and doing what brings her joy. Unapologetically.

If you’re still giving everything to everyone else and wondering “what if?”, this one is for you. Press play.

Show Note:

• Career Metamorphosis: Vicky’s career path, from midwife to dominatrix and club owner, was driven by seeking joy and escaping burnout from the broken NHS system.

• Resilience from Adversity: A strict upbringing and parental estrangement (her minister father disowned her for her lifestyle) forged a strong character and a commitment to authenticity.

• Authenticity Over Approval: Vicky prioritizes self-care and joy, focusing on her supportive audience (“the 50% who get me”) and advising others to pursue their passions to avoid “what if” regrets.

• New Chapter of Self-Care: After years of 100-hour workweeks, Vicky has shifted to a 40-hour week, focusing on personal well-being and hobbies like gardening and metal detecting.

Career Metamorphosis: From Midwife to Dominatrix

Midwifery Path:

• Childhood dream, but deferred for 10 years after her father questioned her intelligence.

• Pursued midwifery later, finding it a natural fit.

• Left the NHS due to burnout from understaffing and excessive paperwork, which reduced patient contact and risked her professional registration.

Dominatrix Career:

• Fell into the role after exploring the kink lifestyle socially, realizing she had a talent for it.

• Built a 20-year career, viewing it as a professional business with transferable skills from midwifery (e.g., commanding a room).

• Later co-owned a swingers/LGBTQ+ club with her husband, Jim, which provided a dedicated dungeon space.

Personal Philosophy: Authenticity & Resilience

Parental Estrangement:

• Her minister father disowned her 6 years ago after learning of her lifestyle (dominatrix, club owner, bisexual, tattooed).

• Her alcoholic mother, with whom she had a difficult relationship, passed away recently.

• Vicky views this history as a facet of her story, not a defining characteristic.

Jennifer’s Parallel Experience:

• Jennifer shared a similar experience, being estranged from her parents for 25 years after coming out at 17.

• She later became her mother’s caregiver and is now her father’s.

Shared Philosophy:

• Both focus on serving their supportive audience (“the 50% who get me”) rather than seeking approval from others.

• Vicky’s advice: “You don’t want to be in your nursing home… and look back on your life and say, ‘What if?'”

The Padded Cell Podcast

• Concept: A 3-year-old multi-cam video and audio podcast co-hosted with Jim and four others.

• Content: Unscripted, chaotic mix of history, science, current events and personal stories.

• Production Shift:

  • Moved from a professional studio to a home setup after studio fees increased by £600/month.

  • Required a steep learning curve to master multi-cam video, lighting and audio mixing.

A New Chapter: Prioritizing Self-Care

Work-Life Balance:

• Reduced work from 90–100 hours/week to a sustainable 40 hours.

• This shift followed a mental breakdown last year, which she attributes to overwork.

New Focus:

• Prioritizing personal well-being and joy.

• Hobbies include gardening, baking and metal detecting.

• Reclaiming time for sleep and self-care.