You know that fluttery, heart-thumping feeling right before you do something huge? That was me on the TEDxSydney red dot, hands trembling, heart racing, soul wide open.

This one’s for every woman who’s ever whispered, “Who do you think you are?” and done it anyway. I share what fear really taught me, why the world needs its wise elder women, and a few Bare-Arse-Minimum ways to move through fear, oils, breath, courage, and all.

SHOW NOTES

You know that fluttery, heart-thumping feeling right before you do something big? The one that makes your stomach twist, your palms sweat, and your brain whisper, “Who do you think you are?”

That was me, standing on the red dot at TEDxSydney.
A seasoned professional speaker, sure. But this? This was next level.
It wasn’t just about giving a talk. It was about giving voice to something raw and real: that the Western world is lost because we’ve silenced our wise elder women.

The fear was huge. Bigger than any stage I’d stood on. But here’s what I learned: you can be scared and still do it anyway. In fact, fear often shows up when you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, standing at the edge of your next evolution.

Here’s what helped me step forward, sweaty palms and all, and what will help you too when your next “holy crap, can I really do this?” moment arrives.

1. Feel the Fear — Don’t Fight It

Fear isn’t the enemy. It’s your body doing its job: alerting you that something matters.
When you fight it, you burn energy. When you feel it, you learn from it.

Before I walked on stage, I didn’t try to block the nerves. I took three deep breaths, put my hand on my heart, and said, “I see you, fear. You’re coming with me.”

Aromatherapy Hack:
Diffuse or inhale Vetiver or Bergamot essential oil.

• Vetiver grounds you, bringing your energy from your head into your body.
• Bergamot lifts your spirit while calming the nervous system.

Blend one drop of each in your palms, inhale deeply, and remind yourself: Fear and excitement feel the same — I choose excitement.

2. Reframe “Scary” as “Stretchy”

Language matters. “Scary” shuts your nervous system down. “Stretchy” opens it up.
When I reframed my TED talk as a “stretch,” not a threat, my body softened. The story I told myself shifted from “I might fail” to “I’m growing.”

Next time fear hits, ask yourself:

• What’s the opportunity here?
• What part of me is expanding right now?

Aromatherapy Hack:
Try Grapefruit or Lime oil in a diffuser or roller.
They’re bright, optimistic, and help flip the mental switch from dread to possibility.

 3. Anchor Yourself in the Present

Fear loves the future. It lives in the “what ifs.”
The fastest way to calm down is to come back here, to your body, breath, and senses.

Before I spoke, I pressed my feet firmly into the red carpet and found my breath. One inhale, one exhale, one sentence at a time.

Try this:

• Name 3 things you can see.
• 2 things you can touch.
• 1 thing you can smell.

You’ve just told your body: I’m safe right now.

Aromatherapy Hack:
Use Lavender or Cedarwood on your wrists or temples.
They cue your brain to relax, dropping your heart rate and steadying your breath.

 4. Call in Your Courage Crew

Courage isn’t a solo act. It’s contagious.
On TED day, I felt the energy of every woman I was speaking for, mothers, daughters, crones, wild ones, wise ones. Their presence wrapped around me like a cloak.

Who’s in your courage crew? The ones who remind you who you are when you forget?
Call or message them before your big moment. Tell them you’re doing the thing. Let them send their belief your way.

Aromatherapy Hack:
Use a Rose and Sandalwood blend to open your heart and connect with love, belonging, and courage. Rose says, You’re enough. Sandalwood says, Stand steady.

 5. Reward the Brave Bit of You

Fear takes energy. Courage takes more.
When you’ve done the scary thing, no matter how it went, celebrate that you showed up.

After TED, I didn’t overthink what I could’ve done better. I went for a surf. I grounded in gratitude. I let my nervous system know: We did it. You can relax now.

What’s your version of that?
A slow walk? A long bath? Dancing in your kitchen?
Reward the part of you that dared. That’s how you build bravery muscle for next time.

Aromatherapy Hack:
Add Geranium and Ylang Ylang to your bath or diffuser. They’re balancing, heart-opening, and remind your body to drop the armour and rest in joy.

The Bare-Arse-Minimum Truth

Being scared doesn’t mean you’re not ready.
It means you’re awake, alive, standing in the doorway of something that matters.

You don’t have to wait until you feel fearless to act. You just have to take one small step with your heart open, your oils handy, and your courage crew cheering you on.

Fear is part of the journey. Courage is choosing to walk with it.