Did you know we can have upper limits on our health, happiness, wealth, or anything else? What’s an upper limit? It is the subconscious self-sabotage that happens when we taste something great, be it a promotion, financial windfall, great relationship, or any other means of success. In this episode, Jen digs into the roots of fault-finding behaviour, its detrimental effects on our lives, and some practical strategies she has used to break free from its grip.

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SHOWNOTES

Did you know we can have upper limits on our health, happiness, wealth—anything? What’s an upper limit? It is the subconscious self-sabotage that happens when we experience something great. Be it a promotion, financial windfall, a great relationship, or any other form of success. How crazy is that?

In Gay Hendricks’ book, “The Big Leap,” he explains that in the range of human consciousness, the tendency to find fault and focus on what’s wrong is a deeply ingrained pattern. From an evolutionary standpoint, this inclination may have protected us from danger and ensured our survival. However, in modern times, this tendency often manifests as self-sabotage and limiting beliefs, holding us back from realising our full potential and experiencing true fulfilment.

Let’s delve into the roots of fault-finding behaviour, its detrimental effects on our lives, and some practical strategies I have used to break free from its grip.

We often self-sabotage and set upper limits on ourselves even when life is wonderful due to a complex interplay of psychological factors. At times, it’s rooted in a deep-seated fear of success, where achieving more than we believe we deserve triggers feelings of unworthiness or anxiety about maintaining newfound success. Additionally, self-sabotage can stem from a subconscious desire to maintain familiarity and comfort, even if it means staying stagnant or settling for less than our full potential. Past experiences of failure or criticism may also contribute, leading us to pre-emptively sabotage our own efforts as a form of self-protection. We sabotage so we don’t get hurt.

Ultimately, understanding and addressing these underlying fears and beliefs can help break the cycle of self-sabotage, allowing us to embrace the abundance and opportunities that life offers. So, let’s break it down.

The Evolutionary Origins of Fault-Finding

At its core, the human brain is wired for survival.

The Shadow Side of Fault-Finding

When directed inward, this tendency morphs into self-criticism, self-doubt, and a pervasive sense of inadequacy. Instead of focusing on our strengths and achievements, we become hyper-focused on our perceived flaws and shortcomings, perpetuating a cycle of negative self-talk and self-sabotage.

Limiting Beliefs: The Prison of the Mind

Alongside fault-finding, limiting beliefs further entrench the narrative of what’s wrong in our lives. Remember, we are hardwired to look for what’s not right.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage manifests as procrastination, perfectionism, fear of failure, and a reluctance to step outside our comfort zones. Instead of embracing challenges and opportunities for growth, we sabotage our own success out of fear of rejection or judgment. Or it’s more comfortable to sabotage and stay with what’s familiar.

Shifting from Fault-Finding to Self-Compassion

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF
Breaking free from the grip of fault-finding begins with cultivating self-compassion—the practice of treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially in moments of difficulty or failure. Instead of berating ourselves for our perceived flaws, we learn to embrace our humanity and acknowledge that we are worthy of love and belonging regardless of our imperfections.

Challenging Limiting Beliefs: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Overcoming limiting beliefs requires a willingness to challenge the narratives that hold us back and explore new possibilities for growth and transformation. By questioning what’s happening and replacing limiting beliefs with empowering affirmations and positive self-talk, we create space for new opportunities and experiences to unfold.

Embracing a Growth Mindset

With a growth mindset, we cultivate a sense of optimism, resilience, and curiosity that propels us forward on our journey of self-discovery and personal evolution.

Optimism Shortcut:
Want a shortcut to empower yourself and raise your self-esteem? Use aromatherapy essential oils to support you. I blend for the emotional impact. My “Move Your Butt Blend” includes:

  • Grapefruit – Helps with optimism and reduces self-doubt.
  • Lemon – Helps you respond rationally.
  • Fennel – Reduces fear of failure and helps you stand in confidence. Fennel helps you take your place in the world.

My 5 Strategies to Address the Upper Limit Challenge and Keep Progressing in Life, No Matter Where You Are Right Now:

  1. Identify your comfort zone.
  2. Identify the point where your upper limit kicks in.
  3. Acknowledge the feelings that arise when you surpass that limit.
  4. Be gentle with yourself.
  5. Celebrate the wins that keep you moving forward and use aromatherapy to help you.

Why? Because we deserve to have epic, extraordinary lives.

HEALTHY LIFE HACKS

The Healthy Life Hacks I want to share with you today are:

  1. Address the upper limit challenge and keep progressing in life.

Did you enjoy the podcast today? Please let me know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Every month I draw one lucky reviewer to have a free one-hour consultation with me. Also, remember to subscribe wherever you’re tuning in from so that you always catch the next episode.

Are you looking for more great resources? Get a free copy of my Feed Your Body ebook here and be sure to explore my blog while you are there.