Do some people trigger an emotional response in you? In this episode, Jen explains how these triggers act as an emotional mirror and that what shows up in our life (the good, the bad and the ugly) reflects something in us. Jen shares how to use these triggers as opportunities to analyse who we are or have been and turn them into life lessons to learn and grow from.
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SHOWNOTES
Tell me, who was the last person that triggered anger and frustration in you?
Was it the stranger in the queue at the supermarket who was being a dick? Is it the girl at work that you absolutely can’t stand? Is it the ex-partner who you still call toxic after three years of dating?
The people who trigger you are reflecting parts of your consciousness back to you. You go NO WAY, Jen! That’s not possible. Well, it is. Stay with me while I explain.
I first learned about emotional mirrors in life about 35 years ago. It was hard for me initially, but I saw it to be true when I sat with it. We attract our mirrors because there is something we are yet to learn.
In life, get to be both the teacher and the student. We get to live every life lesson, and the universe serves us, and the lessons usually come when we least want them.
WHY are everyone and everything a mirror? There is no space for judgment. Think about it.
What is the common denominator in your life? YOU!
Crossing paths with others that trigger us can amp us up, and in reality, they are there to show us something in us that wants to be loved, free or healed.
I am the common denominator of all the encounters that I make in my life. This has been the hardest truth to swallow because my own bones have never tested the weight of responsibility.
You say, but no Jen, he’s a dick, and I’m not. Think about when you have been a dick in the past. Casting blame is the easiest path, so we don’t have to accept responsibility.
I’m about to turn 60, and I have had four long term relationships in my life. As the last one ended, I was gun shy about entering another relationship and didn’t want to be heartbroken like in the past.
I sat and contemplated what is the common denominator as to why the relationships did not work. It’s ME.
The buck stops with me. It always takes two in any situation. I get to accept 100% responsibility for the relationships not working and can live into a new and different possibility in the next.
If we don’t, we keep repeating the same patterns until we learn the lesson. Now, this is a bloody hard pill to swallow.
“Can I stand to see myself in you?”
The people that cross our paths in life are here to help us grow. It’s not all roses, if it were, we would not be growing in life, and like a tree, we are dying if we are not growing.
People have always been mirrors for me. It just took a long time for me to “see” that and accept it. We all have a light and dark side. There is a lesson in every person, and it’s such a blessing to have the ability to recognise this.
Everyone that I have come across so far has taught me something about myself that applies to this journey in life that I’m on.
When you accept that everyone in your life is a reflective space of what makes you, YOU —your “flaws”, your faults, that restlessness in life, then you get to grow and choose new paths.
Mirrors have helped me become more empathetic and tolerant in the way I love others and how I love myself.
Healthy Life Hacks
So, the healthy life hacks I want to leave you with today are:
- Next time someone pisses you off or disappoints you, stop, breathe and see where that sits inside of you. Your intuition will tell you if you listen.
- Have empathy for them and you. It’s being reflected back for your benefit. Being angry with them won’t help. See your part in it and be gentle with yourself.
Did you enjoy the podcast today? Please let me know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Every month I draw one lucky reviewer to have a free one-hour consultation with me. Also, remember to subscribe wherever you’re tuning in from so that you always catch the next episode.
Are you looking for more great resources? Get a free copy of my Feed Your Body ebook here and be sure to explore my blog while you are there.