When you think about how friendships are formed, they start by one person saying “hello” and you both finding common ground. As for best friendships? This happens when you let your guard down, and the other person in and they reciprocate. In this episode, Jen explains how you can create deeper friendships faster – and why life is too short not to let people in.

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SHOWNOTES

Have you ever wondered how your best friend became your best friend? Think about that for a minute. How did your best friend become your best friend? What had to happen first?

What I know is that one of you – one of you – said hello! Whether it was on a plane together, on the street, in the surf or wherever, you met a person and said hello and they said hello, and somewhere amongst it you found common ground.

I want to talk about how that person became your best friend. At some point, you feel safe enough to let down your guard and really let them into your heart.

Tony Robbins talks about proximity and how when we’re around someone; there is more chance for something to grow. It makes sense, when you’re around people they are in your vibe, and there is more chance for a relationship to grow. 

But culturally, as Westerners, there is a strange story in our head that says we have to let that love grow so slowly. Why though? Why does it have to take so long to let it build? Why don’t we let down our guard with everyone? What stops us from diving straight in from the start? Why do we choose to let our love grow slowly for a friend?

Now, I’ve had some interesting relationships in the past, friend relationships and life relationships. I’ve been hurt. Good luck to anyone who hasn’t been when they’ve surrendered a part of their heart.

I love how Tony Robbins says, “Nothing from your past has to influence your future unless you let it.” The trouble with relationships is that we live our future out of our past, not out of our present. So, when we’re bringing that attitude of, “I’ve been hurt in the past, so I’ll take it slow and make it safe”, where is that rule? There is no rule; it’s a story! It’s a story we tell ourselves because we’re living our future out of our past instead of diving in.

This has been a big lesson for me in my life. I’ve totally been that person to shut people out. One of my mentors, David TS Wood, says, that when you meet someone for the first time, treat them like you’ve known them for the last ten years or your whole life. Don’t just give them a passive “Hi, how are you going?” Dive right in!

It’s learning I’ve leaned into. Has it always been easy to do this? No, it’s one of those uncomfortable growth points. But it’s been one of the hugest growth points in my life. 

Travelling the world as I do, I meet some of the most amazing people out on the road, and sometimes our paths only cross for a minute or hour. But why wait? I could be missing out on having an incredible friendship with someone. I have had to learn to feel safe, trust and dive in sooner rather than later. 

My mate David TS Wood says if you’ve been in a relationship where you’ve been let down and hurt before, imagine if you go into a new relationship. You are reaching that point where you really want to surrender it all, but because you’re living your future out of your past, you hold a part of you back. It’s like someone getting down on one knee and saying I’m 99.9% sure that I love you and want to spend my life with you. How crap would that feel? But that is what we do.

He says to enter every relationship willing to be utterly devastated. Now, I’m not big into projecting the negative, but why not dive in?

I lost my sister this year. She was 60. It shouldn’t have happened. She was way too young. Life is too short guys. Dive in. Why not? Why not really open your heart. Give love and leave the space to receive the love in return.

Healthy Life Hacks

So, the healthy life hacks I want to leave you with today are: 

1. Today, say hello to someone and treat them like you have known them for forever.

Don’t prejudge. You don’t have to go slow, that’s an old story that does not serve you.

Did you enjoy the podcast today? Please let me know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. Every month I draw one lucky reviewer to have a free one-hour consultation with me. Also, remember to subscribe wherever you’re tuning in from so that you always catch the next episode.

Are you looking for more great resources? Get a free copy of my Feed Your Body ebook here and be sure to explore my blog while you are there.